Motor humming like my mind…my body buzzing in its seat
Everything moving and yet, everything is still.
Even my heartbeat is indiscernible
The road blends into the landscape and the grasses at the edge
Blur into the centre line…all is one, purring, being joined together
It is the only oneness that I have.
My mind escapes this bond…jumps out over the fences and beyond
Where I have then to look! I have to look at all the yellow lights
Within the cozy homes I pass. The lights beckon me to a another life
With family, time, and togetherness. But I am so alone.
It is those lights that cut me quick
They cut into a part of my soul
That I do not want touched
The part that still quivers
Because my family is gone…that bond is broken and there is no way to fix it.
The lights tell me that there are still those who live that homely life
Behind their snug, curtained windows…curtains that can never hide
The cozy, yellow lights all lined up one after another
In a kind of order that my life now lacks.
I do not want to be reminded of the lack
I do not want to have to look at all those pretty, yellow lights.
Colleen Weber
Pen name ~ cailin raine (1990)
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