Distance

Distance sat in the room like an entity
She had disguised herself as belonging
Pretending to know what she belonged to
Tiny, soft-in-dust rays slid through the high window
In a feathery , soothing mockery of her trying
Trying yet again to feel like she fit in.
Ineptness sat heavily like sodden oatmeal
Clinging to the sides of her, filling her middle
Making it doughy like fresh bread, but there was
A hard, impermeable crust perched on the outer edge.

She had worn this shell in turtle-like fashion for so long
It seemed like she had been born with a covering
Perhaps had been a changeling after all, this substitute
Which sat in typical appearance was really a faery child
Trying to be normal, trying hard to span the distance
Between herself and the others who all spoke with a sameness
A casualness, a “rightness” which she had never been able to mimic.

She sat wondering what it was that made the difference
What had created the forever distance, the detachment…
Inside were pools of warm and bubbling waters, love-drenched
Inside there was a joy-spring of caring and wanting to share
Inside welled the urge to merge and trust and be a part
But humanity loomed like a stranger in the distance.

Maybe it was just too late, too hard to take that step and creep up the stairway
Her heart pounded as she stood on faery toes to look out the upper pane
The paths wound gently from this stone room, down, down towards a pretty river
It flowed into the distance in a dancing, merry gesture that beckoned!
Her heart beat fast, her feet felt slippery, her breath came in tiny gusts
She steadied herself and then she took the stairs... one at a time.

cailin raine